My intuition is the reason I met my man - here's part 1 of our story.
There are so many opinions nowadays on how to find an amazing relationship:
be in your feminine energy - that’s what attracts masculine men!
be mysterious - keep him guessing!
look for someone secure - healthy love should feel boring!
regulate your nervous system - don’t be Anxiously Attached!
learn magnetic feminine communication - tell him you love your date nights!
swipe more - dating is a numbers game!
swipe less - dating apps are dead!
date rotationally - don’t get too attached!
etc etc.
But let me tell you — I didn’t do any of those things to find my man.
So what I did to? Well, I did a few things that I believe were absolutely crucial in connecting the two of us.
But the one I’m going to share with you today is: I deeply connected to myself and my intuition.
I know that all sounds kind of vague and abstract, so let me take you on a trip down memory lane…
In July 2022, I cut things off with an unavailable man who I felt a very strong connection to.
We loved all the same philosophy books. He thought my hypnotherapy pursuits were rad. He coached me through firing someone! He was accepting, kind, handsome, and sucessful.
We had been dating for about two months, and things were going well. But, I was starting to feel some anxiety - rightly so, because was showing signs of unavailability. You know…going on vacation for a week and not texting me. Literally saying things like “I think I’m afraid of commitment.” I approached with him with curiosity and shared I desired a long term partnership. Unsurprisingly, he kept things vague, open ended, and non-committal. I broke it off a few days later.
And let me tell you this was hard. He was down to “keep exploring.” And yes it had only been two months, so I didn’t need a label yet, but I knew in my heart of hearts that this man wasn’t ready. So I made the courageous choice to end it.
Lesson one: You have to clear the space for your guy to come in. The longer you choose to operate from your wounded inner child who just wants love at all costs, the longer it’ll take to meet your person.
After that, for 7 months straight, none of my relationships went beyond a second date.
Now this was highly unusual for me. I hadn’t been THAT single in years. I almost always had some fling, some guy texting me. But nope - my inbox was completely empty.
Now, I was going on dates. And many of the men I went on dates with were lovely, wonderful, successful, attractive men that had everything I desired on paper.
But each time, when I really connected to my heart, I felt nothing.
Not a single butterfly in sight.
My friends, of course, would say, “Liz, you are SO picky - give the guy a few dates at least!”
But at that point, I trusted myself deeply. I trusted my instincts. I trusted the sensations of my body and the pulls of my heart strings (or lack thereof). And I knew that none of these men were it.
So yes, I dumped multiple 6’2, objectively gorgeous, successful, healthy, kind men.
(PS. This level of self trust took years of work to cultivate. Most of us don’t trust the signals in our bodies because they have misled us in the past or we’re used to being told what to do by parents, teachers, or other authority figures).
Lesson 2: When you connect to your own desires and choose from your highest, most trusting selves rather than falling back into fear based patterns (aka settling for a guy who doesn’t light you up) - the universe rewards you.
Fast forward to March 2023. I was supposed to be going on a Hinge date later that day.
Yet, the guy was being flaky AF. He wasn’t making plans. I felt myself getting annoyed and frustrated. “There is NO way this is my man,” I thought to myself. “But my god, everyone is so DAMN flaky these days. What is WRONG with these men?”
Annoyed as hell, I took a walk with my dog. I played angry music (Alkaline Trio, anyone?). I let myself FEEL. Yes, read that again. I let myself feel so much anger, annoyance, and frustration towards the entire male population.
Lesson three: You don’t have to be in a perfectly high vibe state to find your man. You don’t have to always feel optimistic, loving, positive towards men or dating to find a great relationship.
What you do need to do? You need to allow yourself to actually feel. Be in the energy. Welcome the energy. See the energy. And let the energy move.
Being with your emotions and allowing them to move is actually what allows you to connect to your intution and your body-based wisdom. Because you can’t feel yourself if you are clogged up with repressed emotions. And PS. A woman who can feel is effing magnetic to masculine, healthy men.
PS. This is one of the teachings in my upcoming course, Breaking Free From Unavailable Men.
Now let’s continue. After about 10 minutes of angrily walking, I thought to myself, “Okay Liz, you don’t need to stay stuck in this story. You’re never going to meet someone by continuing to relive your annoyance, replaying the interactions with these flaky Hinge matches inyour mind. There are so many wonderful men out there.”
Lesson four: Don’t stay stuck in your story. Don’t overindulge in your story. Because it’s just that - a story. This is where people go wrong - replaying your story in your mind is not feeling your feelings. It’s actually just a way to distract yourself from your true feelings!
And the beauty is, when we actually feel these negative emotions that relate to our story, we can move into this more authentically positive (not forced positive) state much more quickly.
After subtly shifting my energetic and emotional state, I kept walking. And at one point - I felt a subtle intuitive hit come through my body. “Turn around and go right,” the voice whispered.
I obeyed without thinking twice about whether that hit was logical or not.
And I started walking in the opposite direction. I saw another text from the Hinge guy come through, and I ignored it.
It was a warm day, and my dog wanted to take a break on the sidewalk. I’m an East Coaster, so typically, I wouldn’t just come to a complete standstill on a walk. But I had no place to be - I had already made the decision I was bailing on this Hinge date.
And all of a sudden, there he was. He nearly ran into me actually. My man - my person - the guy I had been dreaming up for so long that I wasn’t even sure existed.
To be continued.
In the meantime, the biggest theme I want you to really take away from the first part of this story is the power - no, the NECESSITY to be strongly connected to yourself when you’re dating.
This is the key to the kingdom - when you’re connected to and trust your inner knowing, you’ll feel peaceful even when you’ve been single for years. Even when you keep meeting duds. And of course, that self connection WILL lead to your soulmate if you keep following it.
With that, here are some classic signs that you are disconnected from yourself:
Dating unavailable men, only to look back and think, “Ugh, I should have known”
Overanalzying text messages, screenshotting & sending to your girlfriends for further analysis
Going on a fourth date with a guy who you doesn’t give you a single butterfly
Googling “Why do men pull away” for the 18th time
Distracting yourself when you haven’t heard from him by scrolling Instagram, watching Love Island, working extra hours, cleaning your apartment incessantly…you get the picture. Anything but actually processing your feelings.
When you actually connect with yourself in a way where you can process your emotions and move into a higher vibrational state in an authentic way, your intution will come online.
And like I said, it’s your intuition and this deep connection to your own bodily wisdom that leads you to your soulmate.
It’s your intuition that leads you to knowing who is right vs wrong for you with so much ease - no more going on that fourth date with a guy who looks good on paper. No more questioning if you’re too picky.
And it’s your intution that leads you to literally turning around midstep (like I did), and running into your soulmate. Because the universe WANTS love to happen for you! You just need to start listening.
Connecting to your body is one of the five core teachings in Breaking Free From Unavailable Men.
In this course, you’ll learn:
The 7 core patterns that lead to attracting, chasing, dating, and loving unavailable men (and how to heal them both consciously & subconsciously!)
How to become more emotionally available to yourself so that you hold more compassion for your inner child
How to navigate triggers in a way that releases stuck energy & allows you to move into your natural magnetism
How to access your intuition and body based wisdom - so you can spot an unavailable man from within (because red flag lists don’t work!)
Doors officially open on Monday 3/10 - get on the waitlist for first access and early bird savings.
And if you’re craving more personalized support on the journey, apply to private coaching in my 4 month container: Relationship Alchemy.
